So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
