As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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