so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
