i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Someone signed my nipple.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
