I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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