Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I look better un-naked...
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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