Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
