Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
so much tequila, so little girl.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Randomize
