Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
