bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
