it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Sorry about my life...
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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