You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
