You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Never joke about your clitoris.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
