A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
