Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize