i just wanna soil my oats bro
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
