pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You may now shotgun with the bride
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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