I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
