I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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