haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
