my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
