I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Randomize
