I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
