smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize