I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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