Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize