I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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