No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
