He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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