Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
as a side note pls kill me
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize