Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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