Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
