i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
