Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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