even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I wish there were birth control emojis
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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