Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
