you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
