I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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