Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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