My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
