can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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