Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
