Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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