I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize