every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
