I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
