Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
nutella sex= disaster
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
