My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Drunk is not a location!
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
