remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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