Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
