I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
