I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize