i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
