It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
