weddingsv make me drug and hornr
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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