I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
