If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
