I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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