youre lurking in front of me
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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