My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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