my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
