He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
