May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize