do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
