i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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