I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
