My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
