I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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