Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
